3
Tom wanted to hear about this Joey character.
He didn’t look like he belonged on The
Sopranos exactly, but Tom had seen enough louche types to spot
one a light year away.
“Don’t worry about that. I’m not a judge up
here. Not even licensed to practice. Just another plebeian. And let
me tell you, I’ve already guessed your pal isn’t a neurosurgeon.
What’s he do—sell stolen hubcaps or something?”
Jack hesitated, then, “He’s a bidonista.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Joey says it’s Italian for grifter.”
“He’s a scam artist?”
Jack nodded. “Family tradition.”
Tom treated himself to a pat on the back. But
this raised a number of troubling questions. The big one: Jack had
told this scam artist he’d be “the first to know.” Know what?
Maybe things were starting to add up,
disconnected pieces beginning to form a picture. Jack’s leaving the
family and hiding out in New York for fifteen years… everyone had
wondered where he was and what he was doing. The word had come that
he was an appliance repairman. Yeah, sure.
Tom had a growing conviction that his little
brother was living, as they say, on the wrong side of the
law.
It explained everything.
Jack pointed to the traffic lights on First
Avenue. They’d turned red.
“Let’s cross.”
Tom held back. “We’re walking?”
“I’d rather not talk about this in a
cab.”
Now this was
interesting. Tom weighed which he wanted more: a warm cab or a peek
into his brother’s secret life.
No contest. He hunched his shoulders against
the chill and stepped off the curb.
“Okay. Let’s go. Start talking.”
“Well, Joey’s last name isn’t Castles.”
As if I didn’t know, he thought.
“Let me guess: It’s Castellano or something
like that.”
“Castellano—right. Very good. His older
brother Frankie was killed along with Dad.”
It shouldn’t have come as something of a
shock that other people had lost family members too, but Tom had
been focused on Dad.
Not that that should surprise anyone, he
thought.
He was always taking heat for being
self-centered. Privately he agreed—nolo contendere—but made a point
of blustering about the unfairness of the charge whenever one of
his wives brought it up.
“Shit. Too bad. They were close, I bet. Not
like us.”
Jack gave him a long look. Was that regret in
his eyes?
“No. Not like us.”
Tom didn’t want to get onto that
subject.
“So what were these brothers into?”
“Their father, Frank Senior, used to run one
of the original telephone booth scams out of Florida.”
Florida…
Tom shivered as they started up 29th Street. A lessening of the wind here between
the avenues made the air seem warmer, but not a whole hell of a
lot. He could use a little Florida himself right now.
“Connected?”
“Yes and no. He wasn’t in the outfit, but he
paid them a piece of the action to, you know, avoid trouble.”
“Telephone booths… I’ve had a lot of scams
come through my court, but that’s a new one.”
“No, it’s an old one. It’s passé now. But
back in the day Big Frank would take out ads in small town papers
all over the South and in the Midwest offering to sell people phone
booths.”
“Phone booths? What would anyone
want—?”
“Just hear me out and you’ll know. The pitch
was you could buy as many as you wanted; you could install them
yourself or, for a small percentage, Big Frank’s company would
handle installation, maintenance, and collect all those coins. Once
you were set up you’d have a steady stream of cash without lifting
a finger. All you’d have to do was sit back and start counting your
money. Everybody’s dream, right?”
“And people fell for that?”
“Enough to make Frank Castellano rich.”
“You mean people would see this ad, write out
a check, and just send it to him?”
“Not with the price Frank was asking. No, the
really interested ones would call the toll-free number, and if they
sounded like live ones, Frank would buy them a plane ticket, fly
them down, and show them around his telephone booth plant.”
Tom was nodding. “I’m getting the picture. A
Big Store.”
He’d always found scams fascinating—the more
elaborate, the better.
“Right.” Jack gave him an appraising look.
“So you know a Big Store when you hear it. Interesting.”
“Everybody who’s ever seen The Sting knows that.”
“But they don’t know it’s called a Big Store.
Anyway, Big Frank’s first Big Store was a rented warehouse outside
Fort Myers. He’d tour the people through, pass them by lab-coated
technicians working on circuit boards, show them a sample booth and
dozens of big wooden crates ready to be shipped, tell them how he’s
swamped with orders and having trouble keeping up with demand. He’d
set the hook by telling them how the first people to place booths
get the best locations; the johnny-come-latelys would have to take
the leftovers.”
“And so they started writing checks.”
“Big ones. Thousands and thousands.”
Tom had the picture now: “But the booths
never showed up.”
“Never. When folks started to complain, Frank
put them off as long as he could. When they finally came looking
for him, Frank was gone. He’d moved his operation to the other side
of the state.”
Tom shook his head. “Never ceases to amaze me
how people never learn: If it sounds too good to be true, it almost
certainly is.”
“Yeah, well, so Joey and Frank Junior
are—were carrying on the family tradition with an Internet booth
variation. And they’re cleaning up, though not as much as they did
with cell phone licenses.”
“There’s another new one.”
“Worked with the same come-on as the phone
booth: Get a cell phone license for a given area and you can
collect roaming fees from anyone making calls from your turf.
Frankie and Joey charged folks eight, nine, ten thousand bucks for
a mobile phone license.”
“Which were worthless, right?”
“Nope. They delivered the real deal.”
“The real thing?” Then Tom smiled. “Oh, I
see. The victims could have got them on their own from the
government for something like a hundred bucks, right?”
“Seven hundred, actually. All the marks would
have had to do was fill out a form. They never needed Joey and
Frankie.”
Tom smiled. “Who says you can’t cheat an
honest man?” Then he shrugged. “At least those folks got something
for their money. Better than a phone booth that never
arrives.”
“But not much. Seems the guys neglected to
tell the marks that they’d have to spend well into six figures to
build the cell tower that would allow them to collect. But how’d
you guess about the government selling them for so much
less?”
Tom shrugged again. “Not a guess really. A
fair number of attorneys are doing very well with a variation on
that.”
Back when he was in private practice he used
to work that sort of thing. Those were the days…
Tom sighed. Sometimes—many times, lately—he
regretted leaving private practice. He’d wheeled and dealed and
wheedled and angled for a judgeship. He’d heeded the siren song of
the prestige, the opportunities it would afford him. But he’d have
been better off now—lots better—if he’d
stayed in the lawsuit game. Torts, wrongful deaths, and personal
injuries had turned into such a gravy train. Guys he knew were
making fortunes off plane crashes and even the 9/11 thing. Those
kinds of claims almost never went to trial except maybe over the
amount of money owed. Guys were collecting a third of the recovery
for doing next to nothing.
“Why am I not surprised?” Jack said in a flat
tone.
Tom waved his hands. “All perfectly
legal.”
“I can’t wait to hear this.”
“Here’s how it works. All you need is a mass
tort or a disaster that results in the creation of a fund. The
breast implant settlement, for example. Or the Ramsey IUD
settlement. Guys made tons by putting out ads indicating their
‘expertise’ in the Ramsey IUD case, then getting claimants to sign
on to percentage agreements—some got pushed to as high as forty
percent. But all the attorney had to do to earn it was show the
claimants how to document their use of the product and their
injuries, and then fill out the forms. All of which they could have
done themselves in a written application to the fund.”
“So instead of getting a hundred percent of
the settlement, they wind up with sixty because forty goes into
some shyster’s pocket.”
“Like I said: perfectly legal. Lex scripta is all that matters. But you have to
take into account that a lot of those people wouldn’t have wound up
with a dime if the ads hadn’t spurred them to action.”
“Swell system. You sleep okay at
night?”
Tom felt his jaw clench. “You’re not going to
do your Mr. Sanctimonious impersonation again, are you? What about
your pal Joey?”
“Not my pal.”
“You ever inculpate him about his cell phone
scam?”
“That’s different.”
“Really? How? He bilks thousands. I want to
play around with a bogus twenty and you get on your high horse. How
come he gets a pass but not me?”
“I don’t like what Joey does but, because of
the way he was raised, he doesn’t know any better. He thinks that’s
how life is. But that’s only a side issue. Joey’s not my brother.
You are. And you and I were raised with the crazy notion that doing
the right thing mattered—mattered more than
just about anything else. And the right thing is the right thing,
even if the law says otherwise. Remember?”
Tom tried to remember. But his boyhood days
growing up in the tiny town of Johnson, New Jersey, were a blur.
Echoes of Dad’s voice flitted through his head, but he couldn’t
hear what he was saying. Probably because he hadn’t been paying
attention at the time.
All he’d wanted was out. He’d seen
Philadelphia and Manhattan and Baltimore and D.C. on class trips
and had known immediately that Johnson was not the place for
him.
And then he remembered the night he’d almost
been killed, and Dad shouting at him. First, because he was scared
that Tom had almost killed himself, and then because of how he’d almost done it.
He’d come across this Trans Am with the keys
in the ignition. Sixteen, no license, but he knew how to drive. So
he’d taken it for a spin. Everything was going fine until he went
into a curve a little too fast and wound up wrapping the car around
a tree.
Just one of those teenage things.
“Oh, yeah. I forgot. Saint Jack. Daddy’s boy.
He never had to worry about you going for a joyride.”
“No, he didn’t.”
Tom had been out of the house by then, but it
irked him to think that his kid brother had spent his high school
years as some kind of namby-pamby geek. A teenager, especially a
boy, was supposed to shake things up, give his parents a few gray
hairs. All part of the rite of passage.
“Didn’t think so.”
Jack grinned. “Even though I went for at
least a dozen.”
“Bullshit.”
He raised his hand, palm out. “Truth.”
“Dad never mentioned—”
“That’s because he never knew. Nobody knew.
After I learned to hotwire a car—a lot easier in those days than
now—I set a challenge for myself. The game was to borrow the ride,
take it for a spin, then return it to the exact same spot with no
one the wiser.”
“And no one ever spotted you, no one ever
looked out their window and noticed their car missing?”
Jack shrugged. “I did my homework.”
Tom had to admit he was impressed. Maybe Jack
hadn’t been such a sissy boy after all.